I'm in a strange situation here...I have lots of time on my hands. I have 2 days per week at my disposal, plus a weekend. Weekends still get taken up with 'must-dos' but those precious two days are all my own. Initially being off ALL the time was taken up with 'recovering,' otherwise known as feeling unwell, blogging my woes and watching terrible daytime TV ('The Real Housewives of NYC' shocking and shockingly addictive.) Now that I am feeling better and my stamina has hugely improved I am able to use this time to do 'stuff.' It is a wonderful feeling. After the Easter holidays I'll be teaching two classes a week and so my free time will disperse. I will be back into the thick of 'real' life i.e. spending your days at work. I'll still have more time than the average teacher but I won't have the long studenty days I am currently experiencing. As going back gets closer I find myself employing my free time in an increasingly productive way. It feels like a real treat to have time to indulge myself...and I think I deserve it!
However...there are pros and cons of having lots of time.
The pros are pretty obvious.
1) I can do whatever I like! This includes things like reading in bed whilst eating toast and then trying to get rid of the crumbs; wandering around DIY and home shops for up to 2 hours and only buying a set of washing pegs; going to the library to read/sitting in cafes to read whilst everyone else runs around madly; walking really slowly on the tube and standing on the escalator instead of running up and down it; going to an empty cinema to watch a film of my choice; fixing things around the flat; painting my nails multicoloured (perhaps a step too far for a nearly 27 year old;)watching Come Dine with Me with an early glass of wine and so on and on and on......!
2) Catching up with people. There is never enough time in life to see all the people you want to. Quite often you speak to someone and say things like, 'when was the last time we met up?' By the time you've worked it out it could be a year or longer! Recently I wrote a list of friends and family and booked them all in for coffee, lunch or dinner. Then once I met them I booked in the next catch-up......after my accident I've realised life's too short not to stay in contact with my VIPs.
3) Learning about my local area and culturing myself. Although I've lived in London for around 3 years there are lots of things I haven't done. Who has time usually? I've been taking long, stamina-building non-destination walks around the area. They usually turn up something interesting, like the other day I found the Greenwich Foot Tunnel! Although I'm not a fan of enclosed spaces anymore I challenged myself to walk through it. It was so convenient, I might (might...) wander through it again. I've also been trying to go to more galleries and exhibitions.
4) Saying 'yes!' I'm going through a bit of a 'yes' stage. I think it's because I feel so lucky to be able to do things again. Even if I don't really fancy something or I would normally be too lazy to go I'm saying yes. (Except to the NPower guys by the tube with their free prize draws...that's a no.)
5. Spending time by myself and being comfortable. It's quite difficult to spend time by yourself and be comfortable but I am getting more used to it. Your internal thoughts take on a much louder voice when you're alone. I'm trying to get all karma-ish and use this time to find my 'inner peace.'
Despite all the good things, there are also downsides to being alone.
1) One of them is the point above, your inner voice can be quite irritating at times. It's hard to relax. As you can probably tell, I'm not a relaxed person. For me downtime is wasted time. I like to be doing things and that can be both a good and a bad thing. My inner voice is always reeling off the list of things I should or could be doing.
2) Feeling like you're missing out at work. I'm missing out on the in-jokes, the camaraderie and the reassuring day-to-day routine of work. I'm half there and half not. I'm also well aware that I will be over a year behind in my professional development once I return to work. VERY disappointing. I just have to remember in the grand scheme of the 50 ish years I will be working, 1 year is drop in the ocean.
3) Getting tired. There is only so much walking/gallery perusing/window shopping one can do before collapsing in a heap. And it might only be 4pm.........
4) Getting bored. Your own company can get tedious and you long for someone else to talk to. Sometimes you want to share something you've seen but if you turned to the stranger next to you and said, 'isn't that interesting?' they would think you were crazy.
The cons aren't enough to outweigh the pros at this stage though. I still have a lot of healing to do both mentally and physically but I am in a very privileged position at the moment; space and time to completely recover and feeling well enough to enjoy it.
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