Current Facebook Status, ‘my life is back.’ All of a sudden the elements of my life appear to be coming together in a way they haven’t yet. It’s a bit like I’ve found the annoying corner pieces of the puzzle are suddenly fitting and making a pretty picture.
I’ve been quiet on the blog front as I’ve been moving into new a flat with my boyfriend. As much as I love our parents, there is something quite wonderful about having your own space again and getting settled. I’ve been nesting away with great enthusiasm, matching dining chairs with rugs with throws….
And on Monday life really began again…..I started my staggered return to work. Remember the feeling of returning to school after the 6 weeks holiday? You know you’re going to see all your friends and hear all the gossip. You know hard work is going follow but secretly, you don’t mind. Your brain was beginning to stagnate. That was how I felt on Monday.
When returning to work there are several important things to think about.
1) My lesson went well and I ended it feeling on a bit of an adrenalin high. Realistically, I should have gone home. It was my first lesson and the most I’ve had to do in, oh, about 7 months. But I didn’t go home. Instead I stayed and marked all the books. By the time this was done, I could barely lift my arms and I still had to drive the 30 minutes home. And I had a lesson in the morning….One of the most important things to do is stop before you are tired. For some personality types this is hard to do. I do everything hard and fast, until I can do no more. Pain is gain. Tiredness is for wimps…I was truly shattered once I got in and I drove home like I was in a dream world. I laid on the sofa and then I went to bed! Note to self – quit while you’re ahead.
2) People are going to be pleased to see you and they are probably going to ask you questions. You should prepare some stock answers. People broach the subject differently; a few just ask me how I’m feeling. Some make vague gestures across their upper body and ask if it’s ‘going alright?’ Others might actually pick up my wrist and point at some scarring and say, ‘it’s looking so much better than when I last saw it. The colour’s really changed!’ As I work at an all-boys school, I was expecting an interrogation. (‘Did it hurt? Was it like, an immense explosion Miss?) Someone had obviously warned them against questions and the most I had was a wide-eyed gaze at my lower arm as I walked past. They quickly realised they shouldn’t be staring and then forced their eyes away although it obviously pained them not to look. I was actually touched by the boys’ sensitivity towards me. The bottom line is to be prepared to react to people’s reactions in a way you want to react. Don’t let them take you by surprise and do your best not to be offended. 99.9% of people mean the best.
3) There is something very exhausting about being around a lot of people. I’ve been at home for a long time now and any social interactions usually fall into designated timeframes. I’m not around people indefinitely and if I do get tired, I could just leave and go home to my sanctuary of silence. At work, this is not an option. You can’t turn down the surround-sound of chatter. Even if it’s not you talking, concentrating on the conversation around you can be tiring. Having a quiet space you can steal away too could be useful.
4) My workspace never used to bother me. I’ve never had back problems or neck problems and the type of chair, desk or the height of my whiteboard has never even entered the field of my observation. Yet all of a sudden, I’m a walking problem-spotter. Luckily for me, Occupational Health has already made recommendations that will really improve my ability to do my job successfully. My computer has been moved so it’s more convenient and I have a desk with a special curved edge to rest my gammy arm on. It’s definitely meeting with your Occupational Health representative before heading back into the onslaught.
5) Deciding the hours you are going to work is also of huge importance. Be realistic, otherwise you could overdo it and find you are struggling to cope. It’s much better to under-estimate then over-estimate yourself. If you under-estimate your ability, you can just increase the hours or responsibilities. If you have to decrease them, you will feel like a failure. My School have been very good about my hours and I am on an unusually staggered timetable that may cover the entire academic year. Most businesses only provide a staggered return of 6 weeks though. Think about what that means realistically, in 6 weeks you would need to be running at full capacity. If that’s not possible at this point in your recovery you either negotiate a gentler return….or stay off sick. Health comes first. We, of all people, know this best.
6) Remember you are still recovering and be kind to yourself. Returning to work is does not mean you are fully recovered; it is part of the recovery process.
Even if going back to work is the scariest thing in the world for you (and let’s face it, it’s easy to demonise it from the sofa) it’s less scary than never going back to work at all.
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