Make up sponges

It's not easy to find natural sponges for make-up. I even tried 'The Body Shop.' The Sales Assistants turned their horrified gaze upon me. 'Natural sponge? Of course we don't stock them, they're endangered! But we do have some man-made sponges that might work...'

As much as I want to save the sponges, man-made versions are inferior. They don't distribute the make-up in the same way. It is worth buying small pieces of natural sponge. The denser the holes in the sponge, the thicker the coverage will be. Smaller holes seem to create a lighter, more natural texture.

The best and cheapest way to order sponges is off art websites. They are often used for watercolour paintings and are a good size for make-up.

Down the rabbit hole......a day of alternative therapy. Part Two.

So off I wandered on my newly-tweaked feet, to find a dwelling with a misleadingly average address.

I knew I'd found the right house before I'd even got near to it. It was painted a vivid, warm hue and had a peaceful zen garden out the front. It didn't belong in the road of drab two up-two downs. I knocked the swirling brass knocker against the wood and was greeted by the Crystal Seller, a lady with a vast knowledge of her wares.

As I moved through her house I was stunned by bright, cheery colours. Each room contained a myriad of treasures: on shelves, tables and bookcases. A huge buddha sat in the garden, peering into the Kitchen. On every surface sat Crystals of types from common to unknown and in the corner of the lounge a large Amethyst Geode surveyed it's kingdom.

The lady took me to the corner of the room where crystals adorned every space on the bookshelf. She said she was pleased I'd come to see her as many people buy crystals on the internet which is a terrible idea. Apparently there are lots of crystal scams such as selling polished glass or injecting clear quartz with colour. As well as this, you are meant to choose your own crystals. They are meant to 'call' to you.

Now, I cannot admit to hearing the voice of the crystals calling although I did listen. Instead, I choose the ones I thought were the prettiest. That's one way of doing it!

Crystals and their energies are used in healing which you can read more about here but I just wanted a few to scatter around me and send me good vibes.

I'd been sent by the reflexologist to get particular crystals for their particular properties.

Rose Quartz
I choose a rough cut one like this, triangular shaped that sits like a little Buddha. It was £1. Not quite Swarovksi prices...

According to Spiritwalkercrystals.com, Rose Quartz is known as the stone of unconditional love. It both attracts love to those who carry or wear it and teaches self love. Rose Quartz calms and heals the mind, allowing you to let go of worry and fear. It is good for healing old emotional wounds and prepares you for future love.


Amethyst

Easily my favourite because it is so pretty, I went all out and bought a 'flower' Amethyst. Apparently Amethyst is one of the master healers. It's a good choice for stress and anxiety and is useful for strengthening the immune system following illness. It's also good for creative energy.

And it's pretty!




Citrine


One I'd never heard of, Citrine is a yellow-gold stone. The one I chose was polished and had sparkly bits in it. It's meant to be an energetic stone so I can't put it next to my bed as I was told it would disturb my sleep. So I put it in my car! Citrine is a lovely golden yellow colour and is known as 'The Merchants Stone' as it attracts financial wealth, which would be nice. It is said to bring sunshine to your life and help guide you. It dispels negative energy.

I'm open-minded but I don't think crystals have the power to cure all my woes...but they are beautiful to have around and it's comforting to think something is sending you good vibes all day or all night long.

By Wednesday evening I had a pocketful of crystals, light feet and an interesting story to tell. Not something that happens everyday!

Down the rabbit hole......a day of alternative therapy. Part One.

Wednesday was a 'normal' day. The sun was shining enthusiastically, lighting up the small town I live in. I've lived in this town most of my life; I know it well. I can tell you the location of any road, I can navigate the network of alleyways, I can go to the town and say hello to five people a time. Yet lurking under the surface of this average town is a secret world of alternative therapies: a whisper of crystals, a murmur of chakras and a whiff of fragrant oils.

I may have woken up in my own bed on a mundane Wednesday but by midday I could have been somewhere else entirely...

It all started with my increasing interest in complementary or 'alternative' medicine. I think this must happen to lots of people...when Medical Professionals fail to provide answers or fast-enough fixes, you look towards other options. Alternative medicine is basically the opposite to conventional medicine. According to the great internet God Wikipedia, it is 'healing practice based on historical or cultural traditions, rather than on scientific evidence.' This can also be called as Holistic Medicine which means 'to treat the whole self,' rather than individual parts of the body as conventional medicine does.

These healing practices have been around a long time. Thousands and thousands of years. Although they are not grounded in Scientific understanding, they are still important as they appear to work. People are still enjoying the positive effects of Reflexology, Acupuncture, Reiki and so on. There must be a reason for this; it obviously works for some people. Yes, we may not fully understand it but do we need to? As far as I am concerned, as long as it does no harm, I am willing to give it a go. Any improvement is some improvement in the deep, dark world of recovery.

My first foray into this alternative world took me to the Far East. As I slipped off my very English shoes and socks, I was told that Reflexology has been practised since ancient times in Chinese culture and was also used by the Ancient Egyptians. For fellow historical philistines out there, the Early Dynastic Period of Egypt dates from 3150 BC.


Translation reads:
Patient: "Please do not hurt me"
Physician: "I will work so that you shall praise me"
From DPEX Fitness Reflexology


I was referred to Reflexology by my Physiotherapist. It was administered by a very spiritual lady who also practises Reiki and Indian Head Massage. Initially she took a full statement from me which included medical questions and questions about my personality. She believes that in order to treat illness or injury you must treat the whole self, including the spiritual and emotional self. She put on some relaxing music and told me she didn't speak during the treatment.

I was expecting more of a massage but the Reflexology felt more like manipulation of my toes, feet and ankles. The lady was very thorough: tweaking my big toe, kneading the in-step and rotating my ankles.

Reflexology works by relieving stress in the body which could help to promote healing. It's believed that each part of the body can be accessed through specific zones on the feet and putting pressure in the correct places can help balance the flow of energy in the body.

When she worked on my big toe my ears tingled quite dramatically. Afterwards she told me the zone for the head is indeed the big toe.

After the treatment I was amazed that she had found no physical problems showing up in my feet. A masseuse at Lifehouse (click here for post)correctly guessed the location of my injury through my feet as she said below my little toe was 'crunching.' I could feel it when she demonstrated what she meant. Yet now nothing physical was showing; my health has improved. I was very pleased about this.

She said my emotional health was another story entirely!

After an accident, you are going to progress through a series of emotions that, even without having an accident, you can probably guess at. However, this lady picked up on quirks of my personality type that she couldn't really have known otherwise. She was very positive about my recovery which I found reassuring. I agreed with most of her observations but I didn't book another appointment as I felt what needed to be done had been done, at least for the time-being.

She recommended that I get some crystals. Although I'm not a big believer in this unscientific practice I do admit to already having an Amethyst crystal point that someone gave me when I was at my weakest. And putting it next to my bed to point to my sleeping self.....

So armed with the name and address of the Crystal Seller I headed back onto the yellow brick road....

Amazing Lavender - Uses and Properties (Lavandula angustifolia)

During my second Physio appointment, my therapist suggested using something other than Bio-Oil to massage my arm. I'm usually willing to try new things but since my injury I have become very much a creature of habit. Try something new...hmmmm. What if it doesn't work? What if I react to it. What if I get ANOTHER rash?

My therapist explained to me that the massage wax she had in mind contained a high quantity of Lavender essential oil and that this was very good for burns, something I had never heard of. A stint on Google later and I am amazed that I haven't come across this before. I have been in a Burns Unit and am still under the Burns Outpatients yet no one has mentioned the close link between using Lavender oil and improving burn healing and scarring!

Traditionally Lavender has been used for many medicinal purposes. It is believed that one of it's many ancient uses was in treating burns, although today it is usually only applied to minor burns as serious burns require hospitalisation and medical attention. Lavender is a very soothing, balancing and relaxing oil and also has antiseptic and anti-inflammatory properties. It is said to have 'cicatrisant' properties which means it helps in the formation of scars.

The Daddy of Aromatherapy, Rene-Maurice Gattefosse had a terrible burn accident himself. In 1910 he burned his hand and plunged it into the nearest liquid which turned out to be a vat of Lavender Oil. He was amazed to find that his burn healed well, with very little scarring. This lead to him investigating the healing properties of oils and wrote a very famous book detailing his finds in 1937, 'Aromathérapie: Les Huiles Essentielles Hormones Végétales.'

So off I went, tub of wax in hand, to begin a week-long test of Songbird Lavender Wax.

1 Week Later

I substituted my usual Bio-Oil for Songbird Wax and used it 4 times a day, massaging for 15 minutes a time. In just a week I have seen a great improvement and this was noted by my Physiotherapist too. The colour of my skin has changed. It has lost some of it's purplish tinge and is not as livid. Some of my rash may (may!) have retreated. A small patch at the edge of the graft has gone back to normal colour!!! My skin is definitely more supple and soft too.

Massaging is a more pleasant experience overall. I no longer smell of bio-oil! The wax provides a little more friction than the oil, making it easier to massage. It also seems to react with my rash better than the greasy oil.

I'm going to take some photos today to compare next week but so far I would really recommend this wax. It can bought online at Songbird Naturals but your Physio might stock it too. If anyone has had experiences with Lavender as well, positive or negative, please share them in the comments box below.

* Written in the Stars *

As Tinie Tempah sings...some things are written in the stars. As a survivor of any trauma, one of the first questions that you ask is, 'why me?' Out of the people milling around on this Earth, why was I chosen to have this particular event befall me? There are several different ways to look at this but I choose to believe that this was my fate. An external factor has occurred; something which wasn't my choice.

I could blame this external factor if I wanted to and I could let it govern my life and my thoughts. Initially, I did. I thought to myself again and again, 'if only I wasn't standing there. If only I'd left to get a drink or talk to someone or get something, if only, if only, if only...' But these 'if onlys' are a waste. The accident was lined up to happen to me; a sequence of unfortunate events culminated in an explosion and there was simply nothing I could have done about it. If Issac Newton just got mad about the external factor that was the apple falling on his head, he would just be another man who had an apple fall on his head.


How we attribute blame for events can contribute to how we cope with things that happen to us. In Psychology, this is known as the 'Locus of Control' 'Internal' people believe that they control their life and 'external' people believe their environment, some higher power, or other people control their life.

It's funny because although I do believe my accident was caused by an external influence, I am not an 'external' person. I am an 'internal' person. I strongly believe that I can help myself and choose the way I react to external events. I choose to empower myself and make the most of every situation, even ones that are very difficult to make the most of!

It is well documented that people feel helpless when they feel powerless to change their situation. When people believe they have no control over what is happening to them they don't strive to better their situation. People who succumb to the feeling that external influences govern them are more vulnerable to depression as they choose to believe nothing can be changed.

The key word here is 'choose.' We do live in an unstable world where unpredictable things can happen to us. Yet we also live in a world where lots of things are within our control. The circle immediately around us is influenced by the way we act and the actions we take, for example: our health; children; work and home. It is important to channel your energies into the things you can influence instead of worrying about the unpredictable, extended world. (Unless you're the Prime Minister!)

I choose to believe that the external factors leading up to my accident were out of my control because I don't want to waste the next 2+ years imagining how it could have simply been a 'close-call.' But I don't believe it's rendered me helpless, in fact it has made me stronger and more creative, looking internally for ways to better the situation and to cope with it.

One of things which makes me feel better is looking up at the stars. They have been there for millions of years, overseeing the graceful arc of History. Cleopatra gazed at Venus, King Henry VIII at the Saucepan, Christopher Columbus at The Great Bear...people have made their successes and mistakes under these same stars. Long after we are all gone and our lives are the dust of history the stars will still be winking in the sky.

This thought might not work for everyone though....




See more 'The Theory of Attribution.'

If historical events were Facebook statuses. Amusing site. Click here.

The Greek Isle of Hosp

The first week of the Summer Holidays I was meant to be jetting off to the Greek Island of Zante. Instead, we joke, I ended up in The Greek Isle of 'Hosp.' Broomfield Burns Unit, to be exact. Not exactly fun in the sun.

Since then, I have spent hours and hours in the Unit, being 'put back together.' Stitched, scraped, poked and prodded.

I had an appointment today that I have been waiting weeks for. Unfortunately, it was all a bit of a shock. I've been battling a livid and disfiguring rash that appeared a week after my skin grafts, in August 2011. It's been there quite a while! It started off looking like impetigo. Once the impetigo cleared up it left behind bright red, inch-wide, raised patches, around the outline of my grafts. These have never receded. Sometimes the skin breaks or blisters and I've had other smaller patches appear on the back of my arm. Other than that though, it's barely changed.

I've had many, many people look at the rash including Burns Nurses, Surgeons, Doctors, Physio and a Dermatologist. I've had lots of antibiotics and topical creams but nothing has made a difference.

Today I had a surgeon look at the rash. He declared it to no longer be a rash at all. He says that it's now hypertrophic scarring. He said I may have once had a rash which damaged the already fragile skin, causing it to scar. I am horrified. I went to the hospital thinking I had a rash that would vanish with the right treatment, only to be told that I have 50% more scarring than I thought.

NOT a good day.

I've been instructed to treat it as a scar tissue with massaging and silicone and then come back in 3 months. They didn't seem to really understand why I was so upset. From where they're standing, my arm is red and damaged. What's a little more damage? As long as I'm not going to keel over, they don't seem too worried. How my body looks seems of very little concern.

But the NHS is only there to get you out of harm's way. After that, there is very little interest in patients. This is what I'm slowly beginning to discover.

For instance, to me the compression vests are a matter of urgency, necessity. Without them my scars will become hypertrophic (raised) and will heal badly. However, the NHS have forgotten to order one of my vests; so I have only one to wear. I need to wash them daily, yet wear them for 24 hours. With merely one vest, this doesn't work. They also need replacing every 3 months to work as efficiently as possible but mine are over 4 months old.

Although I will still attend my appointments at 'Hosp' for basic care, I am going to go and see a private consultant as soon as possible. I want to find out the options available in the long run, to make my arm and chest look as good as possible. There must be lots of cosmetic procedures that I could opt for if necessary. This is something the NHS won't even mention, let alone offer. I also want a second opinion on the rash/scarring. I have spent 5 months being told it's a rash and suddenly it's scarring? I'm really not sure who to believe!

I'm starting to find it very difficult being a patient. I'm running out of patience!

Measuring the unmeasurable

Time stands still when you're recovering. Life is put on hold while you take stock, get sleep, eat well. You walk to the end of the house and back, walk to the end of the road and back, walk to the town centre and back. Everything moves slowly around you and the rush of everyday life dissipates. No one will tell you how long it takes to recover from a burn or where you should be on the recovery timeline. It's not like breaking a leg and being told you have 2 weeks in plaster and six weeks for the bone to heal. It's a never-ending, slow drag of time.

Yet you are aware things are changing, improving. It's just happening so slowly it's barely noticeable. And that's the big problem. How do you measure progress?

For me, the first time I recognised any significant progress was when I read one of my blog posts from early in November, 'how to make each day feel successful and productive.' I couldn't believe my day to day regime. I was unable to wake up before 9am and often didn't manage to get out of bed until 11am. I could only do one thing a day, perhaps go to the supermarket or walk to the High Street. I obviously had very little stamina and had to take it easy.

Yet...I thought that I had very little stamina now but I can definitely do more than I spoke about in that post. So I have obviously come a long way. Reading this post motivated me to think more about how I can measure my progress and perhaps suggest some ideas for other people. Seeing your progress not only makes you feel good, it can give you goals to help landmark your recovery.

1. Building up stamina

This is still my main focus everyday. I hate feeling weak and tired and am following my Physio's advice. She said you can't underestimate the power of walking and told me to become aware of my posture and bring my shoulder blades into a neutral position. This helps me walk as if I have a string being pulled out the top of my head. The suggestion was to walk half an hour a day. As my Mum has a dog this is very easy for me. Walking a dog is much more enjoyable than meandering aimlessly around the town and so I have borrowed him most days.

I bought a fantastic 'well-being' journal from Paperchase and am filling it out everyday. At the beginning of the week I fill out all the exercise pages with what I want to do each day and then I tick it off each evening, once it's done. It also has space for a food diary which I've been keeping. I've chosen a sensible aim, to eat 5 fruit and veg a day as I noticed I had become really terrible at eating well. This book really motivates me, it sounds really silly but seeing your week's exercise on paper makes you realise just how much you've done.
I've also started going to Zumba again once a week and this week am trying to go to the gym again. Each minute of exercise I can do helps build up my stamina!

2. Going back to work

I decided one of the things making me depressed was that I was getting restless now I felt more well. Having all this time off might sound like a dream to all the over-worked, highly-stressed employed out there but on-going time off loses it's novelty! I decided to choose a day to go back to work. For many people, this might not be possible yet but for me it is definitely time to have something to aim towards. Previously my aim was September (I was up to my eyeballs on drugs and pretty disillusioned initially!) and it was obvious this wasn't going to happen by the time the Summer Holidays drew to a close. Then I focused on January, New Year New Start and all of that. When it materialised that I needed further rehab and was tired from the festive period, it moved to my new date, after the February half term.

This is probably my most realistic date yet and so I have informed work and am going to visit Occupational Health soon. The most important thing to remember though is planning my return sensibly i.e. staggered and to be aware that if there is a setback, it might change again.

Taking control and putting this date in place has made me feel much better.

3. Draw a timeline

Timelines are a great idea because you can plot all your achievements on them so far and what you want to achieve in the future. If you do it on a Spreadsheet it's easy to change too, it needs to be flexible! Long term goals might seem far away...because they are...but they will be achieved when the time is right. You can put as much or as little detail on it as you wish, first glass of wine, first cinema trip, first dinner out, first time you drove your car again...all these things are little steps in the right direction, small achievements to be noted. After a big accident every thing you do feels like you've never done it before.

4. Photos/diary/blog

I keep all of these. One day I'd love to sequence all my photos together like they do on nature programmes, speed them up and watch the years be compressed into seconds!

Even a diary where you do a small update on the same day each month might capture your progress.

It's far easier to be disheartened than inspired when you're recovering and trying to measure the unmeasurable can be depressing. Still, you should try. It's a journey worth documenting.

.com and .co.uk!

Welcome to the new domain name for my blog!

As the number of hits racks up towards 1,500 I decided I should make my blog more visible to the world! After all, it has a lot of useful information in it for fellow survivors and my friends and family get to tune out my moans and whines and read about them instead.

I'm fairly proud of myself for this clever bit of domaining and URLing, all things I have absolutely no idea about whatsoever.

It will all look the same, the only difference is that you should be able to type in www.recoveringfromaburninjury.COM or www.recoveringfromaburninjury.CO.UK and visit Phoenix Rising from the Ashes.

It should also eventually appear in search engines, something I thought was automatic but apparently you need to work on. Groan.

Overall though, it should mean this is available to more and more people.

So....enjoy!

Physio-therap-me!

You will be pleased to hear I'm going to stop writing miserable posts for a while. Post-Christmas has been hard for all the reasons I moaned about earlier but I've taken control and been feeling better for it. It all started last Friday with my Physiotherapy session.

I've really been looking forward to my Physiotherapy as I was hoping for acupuncture to help with my rash. Sadly this was not to be.

My immune system is too suppressed for that at the moment. I also couldn't have extensive massage or manipulation of my muscles as I am 'too fragile.' Me, fragile? Not a word I would have used for myself, (especially not with the extra weight gain, ha ha) so I was surprised to emerge with some simple exercises to help stretch my back, stretch my arm and improve my posture.

And that was it.

The thing about Physio is it's a little at a time. Considering I'm normally used to pounding the pavement, lying on my stomach and squeezing a cushion between my knees feels a bit pathetic. But, I am a trooper. So the last few days I've been squeezing away as though my life depends on it.

My life may not depend on it but my posture does! I was told my posture is 'poor.' This horrified me as I've always been proud of my deportment. I've gone from finishing school to slouching like a sulky teenager at school. It has to change if I am ever to sashay in my shoeboots again.

My Physio realigned my back as my pelvis was slightly tilted and demonstrated how to sit correctly. It feels nice to sit up straight but it feels very strange. I've really had to catch myself during the day and pull up my spine and relax my shoulder blades. It's been five days and what a difference! Already it is becoming more natural as I make a conscious effort in the car, in front of the TV (sometimes!) and when I'm walking along.

As for walking...I took the Physio's advice and have also started walking for half an hour a day. I am desperate to go back to running, (I envision running 5k, 10k, a half-marathon for the Katie Piper Foundation) but I have realised this is a pipe dream at the moment and as the old adage says...I need to walk before I can run.

The physio also recommended some holistic therapies such as Reflexology and Reiki to help relax me. I'm looking forward to those!

So well done me. Now I'm going to sit up straight, squeeze those knees....and have a glass of wine.

Anger - the 2nd stage.

This week I have been mostly angry. I have been completely consumed, filled up with terrible frustration and rage. I want to run and run and run; run for miles until I can barely breath and the uproar inside me has stilled. But I can't run. I can't even walk briskly without feeling weak and pathetic!

I'm sure everyone goes through this stage when they suddenly realise that things aren't going to improve overnight. You keep on convincing yourself everything is going to be o.k (first stage, denial!) and then one morning you wake up, look down and see your injury stubbornly living on your body. And you lose it. You're angry. Really, really pissed off. How dare this happen to you? How DARE it?!

I googled the stages of grief and found a theory called the Kübler-Ross model which covers the 5 different stages. Although usually linked to death and grieving, it can also be applied to a life-altering experience. The theory states everyone's response is unique but the people interviewed (500+) went through similar emotions or similar 'stages.' The full theory can be read here but it's the first two stages I think are most relevant to having an accident.

Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
Denial is usually only a temporary defense.

Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"
Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage.

The things that are making me angry are as follows:

1) Burn injuries don't heal overnight. I feel like I've been really patient but that nothing is improving quick enough.

2) I was harbouring hope that my injuries were going to improve so much over time that they would pretty much vanish. Now I am 5 months into my recovery, I can start to see what I will probably be left with. It's demotivating to realise that you are never going to look the same again.

3) I have realised that once the burns are fully healed (2 year mark) I might need intervention to make them look as aesthetically pleasing as possible. I don't want to go through anymore but equally I don't just want to 'put up with it.' I don't want burned, wrinkled skin on my body.

4) Everyone else is at work, getting on with their lives and through no fault of my own, I can't.

5) I am getting increasingly unfit because my stamina is so poor...therefore I am putting on weight. I was at peak physical fitness before this happened, I could run for miles. Now I'm worn out all the time. It's incredibly frustrating.

6) Every time I see a health professional, (Doctor, Nurse, Physio,) I am referred to someone else. It seems like no one is sure about the rash and no one is sure what the best treatment should be. Both my patience and confidence are waning.


7) I hate compression vests. I'm actually keen to wear them during Winter but the NHS didn't order them in a timely manner. I have been wearing one of them for over 4 months instead of the recommended 3 and it's completely lost it's compression factor. It's like wearing a t-shirt. I'm worried it's not doing it's job. I also only have 2 and I spend my life washing them and planning when to wash them. Now they have been worn for such a length of time they don't wash properly. The other day neither were dry enough to wear and I just sat and cried.

This coming week I am going to try my hardest to keep myself busy and think positive thoughts. I'm going to do lots of walking, even if it tires me out and I'm going to go back to Zumba and shake away some of my anger! I have made a plan to help me keep active and hopefully I will feel less angry. I am also going to make some plans to go back to work. I'm not quite there yet but I think putting something into place might make me feel more in control, more optimistic about the near future. I think that people in this situation (myself included here) need to help themselves and constantly remind themselves to look at the bigger picture. The more you can distract yourself from obsessing about the situation, the better. Then days will become weeks, weeks will slide into months and next time you stop to look and think about what's happened, there will be more improvement. Bring on the final stage....acceptance!

When will I feel ready to go back to work???

It's that time of year, black (insert day of the week here) when the alarm is re-set, the train timetable consulted and the emails reluctantly opened. Back to work. I usually sulk for the first 10 minutes after waking up but once I'm on my way, I'm jubilant. I love my job; I love my career. I'm proud of the fact I chose it, I trained specifically for it and I have made myself good at it. This year though, I feel quite different. It's New Year, a new start and people have been asking me when I intend to go back to work. That question sends splinters of ice through my veins.

Before Christmas I was ready to talk about going back. December was 5 months since 'it' happened. January seemed so far away, there was so much going on in those days in-between. I was to move house, back to the parents' for a month and I had plans full of family visits during Christmas and New Year. Yet suddenly, I am here. Moved house. Preparing to move again start of February. All celebrated out. Absolutely and totally shattered.

I wanted to start running again this New Year but when I went for a brisk walk with my other half on Monday I lasted around 12 minutes. All of a sudden I could barely breathe and my legs felt like lead. It terrifies me that this is how unfit I have become. I might be out of the woods but everywhere I look there are still trees!

I know this is something that others worry about as I've read the thoughts of other burn survivors on the Katie Piper discussion forum, 'how and when do I get back into things?' Click here to read.

I think it's important to remember that there is no rush to get back to work. Yes, it's important to work. Mental health studies have shown that work is good for people, it gives them a sense of fulfillment, increases self-esteem and provides companionship. But it is not worth going back to work too early only to feel stressed, become unwell, knock your confidence or hinder your recovery. I really want to go back to work. In my mind I drive in the gates and everything goes back to normal. I forget this ever happened. In reality, work is a huge hurdle and will have to be handled gradually if I am to cope. It's another journey, one I'm not sure I'm yet ready to take.