Unleash the Beast!

After my rant about not being a Drama Queen I had a 'moment.'  The beast that has been lurking within decided it had enough of laying low and burst out with impressive force.

Yesterday I didn't rest enough.  I hate feeling weak and feeble so I continued with life nearly as normal.  I didn't lift heavy things but there was no sitting on the sofa like an invalid.  By 5pm it was time to begin the 50 minute drive home from my Mum's and I was feeling quite tired.

I soon discovered it is really hard to drive when you've just had your arm operated on.  I had to use my left hand to do pretty much everything and I'm not left handed.  Turning a wheel with the power of only one arm is exhausting!  I was physically sweating with exertion and I couldn't keep my eyes open.

Finally! In the car park.  I swung my car round into my narrow parking space - between a concrete pillar and a Fiat - and heard a low, metallic scrape.  I stopped immediately, reversed, but it was too late.  I had either under or over-turned the wheel and caught my beautiful, new car.  At this point sweat began to pool under my compression vest and I started to feel dizzy, light-headed and sick.  I pulled randomly (and badly) in a bay opposite and got out to assess the damage.

And then it started.  The dam gave way.  The tears exploded from my face like in a Tom and Jerry cartoon and my lungs heaved as though I was blowing up a hot air balloon by mouth.  I couldn't believe it.  I just couldn't believe I'd pranged my car all because of my stupid arm.  After about 5 minutes of wailing I called my man who panicked and came home, mostly because I sounded as though I was hanging off a cliff by my fingernails.  By the time he reached me my face was scored with fat black mascara lines and I was snuffling in the corner of the lounge.

He came to assess the scrape and told me not to worry, it was easily fixable.  He had thought from my reaction it was going to be much worse.  But to me, it doesn't have to be any worse.  It's enough that I did it in the first place.  I was desperate to keep up my facade of normal and be straight back to work, back to real life.  Now I can't go to work, I can't even drive.  Today, firmly instructed by Mum, Man, Friends and Others I will be doing nothing but drifting around my rooms like a romantic-novel woman, too weak and feeble to go outside.  And with any luck, tomorrow, I can get back to life and back on the road without fear of over-steer causing a pile up.