A couple of weeks ago, a Thursday, my therapist called me up. "I was just wondering if everything was ok?" He asked. "As you've missed today's meeting."
"Today?!" I exclaimed as I fumbled with my diary, preparing to prove him wrong. "I thought it was tomorrow..." But there in stark black and white was my very own cursive proclaiming, 'Thursday, 4pm." We rearranged and this time I turned up extra-early to reinstate my reliability. I could only hope, as he didn't know me personally, that there was no slur on my character.
The next day, Friday, the hospital called me. Why wasn't I there for my steroid injections at 3pm? Oh, that's next week! I told them. I had definitely, totally, completely booked it for the following Friday. This time it was in my diary as I had thought, so I put this down to their mistake. But was it? I wonder now...
I checked my diary this week and knew, as if it was scored into my pre-frontal cortex, that today's therapy appointment resided at 9.30am. I was pleased; I would be up and out early and would have the whole day to get things done. (Indulge myself by drinking coffee, buying books and going to the cinema.) Even the rain couldn't dampen the feeling of busy efficiency that zipped round my veins as I marched to the centre.
As I launched into a full-scale explanation of my week and my new plans, therapist listened dutifully and asked questions. After about 20 minutes he said, "yes we can talk about that. Now, I'm aware we've only 5 minutes left..."
Five minutes? That hour went quickly....only....
"Your appointment was at 9am....."
Out came the diary and there, in stark black and white sat "Thursday, 9am." I had obviously plucked 9.30am from thin air and so had arrived 30 minutes late. As I sat and blustered over the frankly unbelievable fact that I had misjudged two, possibly three timings severely in a short space of time, my therapist chuckled.
"It's common for your unconscious to skew timings in counselling. We revisit incidents that are unpleasant or painful and so you don't really want to come. It happens all the time."
So I booked for next week and sent my Mum a text to remind me the night before of both the date AND time.
Now whilst I hate to think I'm just like everyone else and that I may have a subconscious giggling away at the tricks she's playing, I am intrigued. I haven't been late for any lessons that I'm teaching or for the hairdressers or social arrangements; just for hospital appointments and counselling.
When I looked up strategies for being on time I was much amused. According to many sites, there are grounds for 'subconscious reluctance' causing lateness. I couldn't find one with enough gravitas to cite here but I came across it enough times to mention. What an excuse! I would like to point out here that if one of my class is ever late because of 'subconscious reluctance,' I will be reluctantly giving them a detention!
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