Clocks and clouds

Ever heard the expression 'her head's in the clouds?'  Or, 'I wonder what makes him tick?'  Character is defined by both these innate items, one ticking merrily away and one wafting dreamily.  We are all made up of both.

According to David Brooks, 'clocks are neat, orderly systems that can be defined and evaluated using reductive methodologies.  You can take apart a clock, measure the pieces and see how they fit together.  Clouds are irregular, dynamic and idiosyncratic.  It's hard to study a cloud because they change from second to second.   They can best be described through narrative, not numbers.' (from The Social Animal.)


Recently I've noticed the clocks and clouds within me are at war.  The clocks used to have the upper hand.  Measured, precise and logical, they follow rules.  They offer explanations and restore order.  Yet my clouds keep rising up with some over-wrought, emotional point that has no real basis in truth, evolving unpredictably as the emotions beneath it change.  It used to be that my inner clock would take a mechanical step forward here, providing a logical explanation.  Instead, the clouds are winning.  A great grey cumulonimbus has drifted over my mind, causing me to forget the logic behind life and leaving me a product of my feelings.

Feelings are great.  Studies have shown that 'gut instinct' is a real phenomenon and you're wise to go with it more often that not.  However, feelings are also irrational and often out of context.  It's important to acknowledge your feelings, examine them and then readjust or regulate them.  To be completely controlled by feelings is to be out of control.

There are several examples of my inner cloud taking over, struggling against realignment by the rational hands of my clock.  One of them is road rage.  Since my accident, I've become completely incensed by the stupidity of other drivers and pedestrians.  I am sure that if everyone had already experienced an accident, the world would be a much safer place.  The risks people take are truly breathtaking.  Do they do it for the adrenaline rush?  Are they really that late?  Or is it just that they feel invincible?  Whatever the reason, it infuriates me.

Once an example of this human stupidity has taken place, I sit and seethe.  If I am affected I bash my horn aggressively to make my feelings known.  Skipping a red light while on the phone and nearly hitting pedestrians is not o.k.

I'm using breathing exercises now to help puff away the clouds and bring back the clock who will help me remember that life isn't about controlling everything, that nothing bad actually happened and that people's actions are not a personal vendetta against myself.  If I let it get to me all that will happen is that my mood will be ruined.  Crazy driver couldn't care less.

I have to take a deep breath and reexamine my emotional process because there are some days I've found myself wound up and neurotic for, when considered, very little reason at all.  Having feelings makes us humane but it is logic which turns us into humans.

 Of clouds and clocks, Karl Popper 

Wiki - Karl Popper