Project Holiday!

Although I haven't expressly been told not to go on holiday to a hot country, the burns unit look at me with trepidation whenever I mention it. 'You do know you're not allowed to catch the sun or you'll hyper-pigment / burn easily / cause skin damage / WARNING WARNING WARNING!!!!!!' 

I am not about to miss out on another Summer or a family holiday because I have had an accident.  It especially riles me because the accident was not my fault (as so often accidents aren't) and I don't see why I should suffer for other's actions.  Anyway.... if I'm told I can't do something I will interpret that as a challenge and I have treated the countdown to the beautiful beaches of Turkey as a project.  I believe that in a situation like this, the answer to enjoyment is ORGANISATION!!!

SUN-CARE

First and fore-most, a burn injury means you can't sunbathe.  However, it doesn't mean you can't enjoy the sun.  Most sun advice applies to anyone, injured or not.  Here's your sun survival kit!

• Sun cream for body.  Don't bother trying to get away with a lower SPF than 50 otherwise you will worry about it or even worse, burn.  Especially if you haven't seen the sun for more than a year anyway.  
• Sun cream for face.  I get spots from sun-cream so it's worth getting a face-specific cream.  I like La Roche Posay Fluide-Extreme Anthelios.
• A hat.  There are plenty of hats out there!  I'd get a cap for swimming in (very TOWIE) and a large, poser-ish, wide brimmed number for reclining on the lounger, under an umbrella.
• Sunglasses.  I was burned around my eyes so giant, fabulous sunglasses provide extra coverage.
• UV rash vests 50SPF. As I intend to swim and go on a boat trip, I need more protection in the water than cream can provide.  The vests also work like spanx and give you a great shape whilst covering upper body scarring.  Score!  I have bought the O'Neill long sleeved one with a matching bikini and a short sleeved one too.

• A parasol.  I had a parasol last year and it was ace.  It means you don't have to panic about your sun-cream not being strong enough when you are wandering around eating ice-creams.  They can be very glamourous.  Make sure they are UV.  They also prevent you annoying other people by avoiding 'sun-panic.'  (I can't sit there! I'm too hot! Can we sit in the shade?  Note: however understanding people are, they will get tired of sun-panic after 2 weeks of hearing it!  It is up to you to make sure you don't have it.)

THE BODY BEACH 'LOOK'

If, like me, you've been having operations and you've been avoiding the sun, you might be feeling like a jelly-fish; wobbly and translucent.  It is worth taking some small steps to make yourself feel like the beach-babe you'd like to be!  Before 'burn-gate' I used to travel quite a lot and I would literally book it, pack the night before and hop on the plane.  This year, I have much more to address in order to feel 'holiday-ready.'  Call it vain....yes it's vain.  But I want to feel the best I can at this difficult time in my life.

• Spray tan!  If you're not able to go in the sun, it's worth having a spray tan.  I had trouble getting any one to do the tan as I am still under the hospital.  In the end, I was just going to have my legs done.  However, after further discussion, the lady is happy to spray all of me provided I cover my arm injuries in a tubi-grip.  Having a bit of colour will eradicate any lingering desire to sun-bathe and boost my self-confidence.
• Self-tan!  If you're uncomfortable with people seeing you, scars an' all, you might fancy self tanning.  I have just bought St Tropez gradual tanning to apply each night as I know my spray-tan won't last 2 weeks.  There are lots of products on the market these days and they don't smell like biscuits anymore!  When you use it, just avoid injury-areas if they are still being treated or sensitive at all.  And with all tans........PATCH TEST, PATCH TEST, PATCH TEST!  Leave 48 hours and do several areas including behind the ear and on your forearm.

Picture from Super Gorgeous Blog LDN:SKINS Gradual Tan

• Waxing.  It's worth considering waxing as you will have enough body maintenance with all the massaging and injury care.  Something else you don't need to worry about!
• Hair.  If you have your hair regularly cut get an appointment in just before you go.  I have highlights and I'm going to have some bleach-beach blonde put in around my face as if I have been in the sun....cheat!  I've also been growing it long so it helps cover the scarring on my chest.
• Body.  You have to be kind to yourself and remember your body has been through a lot.  It might not be feeling like your old body.  2 weeks before my holiday I've made sure I've been eating better, drinking less alcohol and I've been doing regular exercise every day.  Even if it's only walking, it does make you feel better.  I've been stretching my muscles too, in front of the TV!  Another tip is to dry body brush and then vigorously massage in firming cream.  Pummel those thighs if you can! You will feel much better for it.  Taking an interest in your body now, for two weeks, will get you reacquainted with it.

THE HOLIDAY WARDROBE

Let's face it, I don't really want to bare my scars to the unforgiving world.  So my usual Summer clothes all went to the charity shop and I started again.   Evening wear is particularly difficult if you are covering up and need to be both cool and fashionable. The best place to find exactly what you need is online.  I also bought lots of pretty, floaty tops from charity shops to wear on the beach.  Here's my holiday list...

• A variety of kaftans or loose, glamourous tops to wear over top half to waft around the pool in.  I also bought a net, fringed poncho to wear over my bikini.  Think about how you are going to make your swim wear comfortable for you, considering what you'd like to cover up.  I think the covered-up look is more sexy anyway. Very few people look wonderful almost-naked!!!
• UV surfer chick rash vests.  Great for swimming.
• Long sleeved, floaty maxi-dresses.  Cover everything!
• Lots of one sleeved dresses/tops to cover my arm but get that less-clothed holiday look!
• I scoured the high-street for shorts and a denim mini-skirt that were long enough to cover my pigmented graft leg.  In the end, supermarkets came to the rescue! I also had a go at making my own denim skirt and a pair of shorts from jeans.  Then I could choose the exact length appropriate to me.
• As my neck is still quite scarred, I have lots of chunky necklaces to detract attention.

RANDOM THINGS TO CONSIDER.

• Air-conditioning. If you're going to wear compression garments you need to be comfortable when you sleep.  Book your accommodation wisely!
• Pool-side umbrellas.  Check with the hotel how many umbrellas they have...is it a very limited number?  You might just have to get up really early....now, where's my towel......!?
• Alternative entertainment.  Consider taking lots of books and be prepared to retreat to an air-conditioned bar/room if it gets too hot for you.
• Hand wash/washing facilities.  I'm only packing a couple of compression vests as the rest of the valuable room in my case is reserved for more exciting clothes-wear!  I am going to hand-wash my vests as I am only wearing them overnight.  Check washing facilities as compression garments can't be washed at too high a temperature/with softener.
• Enough medication/creams and back-up for anything you're susceptible too.  Goes without saying but worth mentioning!  Anti-histamine is a good idea too...in case the hot weather causes skin irritation.
• Travel Insurance. You might need special insurance if you have unusual circumstances or have recently had surgery.  CHECK!

So there you go.  No reason that you can't go on holiday, as long as you are organised.  Go with the mindset to enjoy yourself.  Prepare for the trip by doing all the things you can to make it easier for yourself.  I am counting down the days and I have lists coming out my ears!!!  I can't wait to doll-up in a kaftan, perch in the shade and read 50 Shades of a high-brow novel with a cocktail by my side and a pint of water at the other!  

So I'll be quiet for a couple of weeks but I'm sure I'll have a lot to say when I return.... 

Confession on Compression!

THIS IS WHAT YOU BRITS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!!  ANOTHER SCORCHER OF A DAY WITH HIGHS REACHING 30 DEGREES INLAND.  MUGGY AND CLOSE AROUND MANY LOCATIONS WITH BOILING SUNSHINE ACROSS THE COUNTRY.

Thanks Daybreak.

It's official.

After wearing my compression vests 24/7 (and I would like to emphasise that 24/7 does mean exactly that.  They are removed only for showering.  I exercise and sleep in them too.)  I was near breaking point anyway.  But when breaking point merged to boiling point  I lasted one day in 30 degree sunshine.  As the temperature soared I had to relent and take them off.  I was so uncomfortable, itchy and sore.  I actually felt ill from the heat  and was really, really angry.  Anything my man said to me received a snappy answer.  

So off they came!!!

Firstly I went through the guilt.  Ten months is a long time but it pales in significance compared to the two years plus I am prescribed to wear these evil garments.  I really don't want to undo all my good work in a matter of days.  I had already prepared to take them off for 2 weeks on my holiday to Turkey and only wear them in the air-conditioned room when sleeping.  I comforted myself by acknowledging that if I still wore them for 12 hours overnight I would be uncompressed for only 1 week!  

Not wearing the vests in this weather really is amazing.  It is a feeling I can't really describe to the uninjured.  When I first went out without one on the air actually made my skin tingle.  I hadn't had fresh air on my bare skin for ten whole months.  I wasn't prepared for my clothes to chafe though.  Where my skin was so baby new and desensitised to touch I could feel the material against me.  Luckily that sensation vanished very quickly!

Another plus is the final stitch from my recent operation (which had gone quite nasty) finally worked it's way out in the fresh air.  I don't know how my body did it as there was a knot at the end of it!  No wonder it hurt when I pulled at it...!

I have to wear 50 SPF on my face, ear, neck and any exposed chest as I burn just from looking at the sun but this is a small price to pay for the freedom from compression vests!  I will keep them off until the weather cools down and then back on they will go.  The vests have made such a difference to my scarring so I won't be without them for long.  

I would advise against taking compression garments off unless it is necessary to your well-being.  Even then, it should only be a short period of time (i.e. a holiday)  I am not the little devil on your shoulder whispering in your ear!  The garments are vital to get the best results from scarring and operations and should be worn in accordance with medical advice.  However, for me, it was time to negotiate with myself in order to improve my quality of life and enjoy the sunshine!    

It's days like this I really appreciate my view!!!

One year later.

This time last year I was lying in hospital, wondering how it could have happened.  It was 24 hours after the worst day of my life.  I couldn't open my eyes or move my neck.  My bed was damp from the fluid that leaked from my scorched flesh.

4 seasons.  365 days.  52 weeks.  Time has passed; a whole year of it.

I am both celebrating and commiserating this long and dramatic 12 months.  You can only cheer when events like an accident are relegated to the past.  It's a relief when pain becomes a distant, faded memory spoken about in cliched terms, the words blurred through retelling.  This is the celebration side, feeling, in fact KNOWING you have lived through it and burst out the other side.

A year is such a long time and at 27 years old it's a rather large percentage of my life.  This is the saddest part; acknowledging that some of my precious time on this earth has been lost to pain, fear and recovery.

My mantra has been 'by this time next year' and that is partly one of the reasons I have found this anniversary so bitter.  It is now 'this time next year' and I still have a long way to go.  I'm still having operations and treatment, wearing compression vests and I'm not yet back at work full-time.  It's difficult to accept that my mantra will be valid until next year at least!

Now I've reached 'the day' I'm strangely settled.  Leading up to the final Friday at school I'd experienced a tumult of emotion and going in to work, the accident site, became a day-to-day struggle.  I've been feeling as though I'm repeating the same actions, even the same words, on the lead up to the summer holidays.  It's usually all part of the fun and the excitement of the last day of term.  This year, it just felt like Groundhog Day.

People keep saying, 'hasn't it gone quickly!'  Perhaps to them, it has.  For me, it's been one of the longest, most drawn out processes; agonizingly, tormentingly slow.  Think back to your last Summer Holiday, a year or so ago.  Now does it feel long ago?

The good thing about first anniversaries is that they only come once and now I can look behind me at it's distant figure, wreathed in the fog of the past.

The Crackpot Proverb

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.  At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.  


For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.  Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.  But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.  After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.  


'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.'  


The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?  That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.  For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'


Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.  SO, to all of my cracked pot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path! 

Posted by Katie Piper

http://www.katiepiperfoundation.org.uk/the-kpf-forum/#/discussion/comment/2169

Snow White and the Magical Spray Tan

Once upon a time there was a young-ish woman with fair, fair skin.  Her family called her 'Snow White.'  As Snow White grew up she became more and more aware of just how fair she was; just a few minutes too long in the sun could harm her delicate skin.  But Snow White also worked out that she could still go brown if she was very, very sensible.

One terrible day Snow White was burned by a dragon's fiery breath.  That was the day the birds in the trees stopped singing and the sun missed seeing Snow White's face basking in her rays.

As Summer slid into Autumn and Autumn browned to Winter, Snow White grew paler and paler. Sometimes she felt she might just fade away.  Spring brought new beginnings for the trees and the birds but Snow White needed to be patient for her new beginning.  She often looked out the window at the world rushing past and wondered when it would arrive.

When Summer poked her head out again Snow White was pleased to see her.  It had been such a long time since they'd greeted each other!  She could say hello to the sun this year but she couldn't sit in her beam for too long because her poor, burned skin was more delicate than ever.  The sun was both sad and angry about Snow White's troubles and so she spent the Summer shining brightly and then crying desperately.  Thanks to her tears 2012 was one of the wettest Summer ever!  Festivals were flooded and the skies were blue one moment and grey the next.

Snow White decided that she hated being 'Snow White.'  She decided to go to a wizard she'd heard about who could spray you brown!  Snow White was very excited about this idea.  She was tired of looking pale and tired of the way her dragon-scars stood out as red as the red, red, rose. But the Wizard shook his kindly head at her.

'I'm sorry Snow White.'  He comforted her.  'You will have to stay as white as snow.  My magic won't work on you and I'm afraid of making a mistake.'

Snow White was very disappointed but she understood.  She went away and thought hard.  She decided to ask someone else if they could help.

'Why don't you ask my Fairy-Friend?'  Enquired Snow White's Fairy Godmother.  'She lives close by in the Dry Woods.'

So Snow White packed her things and set off to the Dry Woods.  (She met many exciting people along the way but that's another tale for another time!)  The Dry Woods were nestled in the night of mountains but the Fairy-Friend wasn't hard to find.  The Fairy looked at Snow White and her dragon-scars with sadness.


'I'm sorry Snow White.'  She began. 'You will have to stay as white as snow.  My magic won't work on you and I'm afraid of making a mistake.'

The Fairy listened hard to Snow White's plight and decided to help if she could.  She consulted her fairy council who knew about these things.

'Shall I turn your legs brown, Snow White?'  Asked the Fairy.  'That way, some of you will be brown.  And when more time has passed and the birds begin to sing again, we can turn all of you brown!'

Snow White was disappointed about the magic's limitations but she understood why the Fairy was unable to perform the full spell.  They set a date for Snow White to return to Dry Woods.

'My legs shall be pale no longer!'  Sang Snow White happily as she skipped home.  'I will look more like my old self again!'

Somewhere, in the distance, a blackbird quietly sang back.

Sweets for my sweets, Manuka for my honey....

This week was been tiring and stressful and before I knew it, I had a cold coming on.  I'm not used to colds.  I rarely get them.  So when my throat felt sore and itchy and my chest a bit tight I just ignored it.

On Friday I hurried home after sitting outside in the Sports Day rain and went straight out for dinner in the city.  Around 10pm the crowds began to clear out of Leadenhall Market and I could suddenly hear myself speaking.

Or more to the point, hear myself not speaking.

Initially I hadn't noticed amid the noise.  Yet now I could hear that I had very nearly completely lost my voice.  Every one listened to my croak in surprise.  I was fine earlier!  Yet suddenly, I sounded like velcro.

The rest of the weekend went by in a cough and splutter.  The only thing that made any difference to my hacking choke was a mysterious pot of golden ooze given to me by my man's grandmother, Manuka Honey.

Now, I'm all for bees.  More than 70 of the 100 crops that provide 90% of the world's food are pollinated by bees.  Albert Einstein famously predicted that if bees died out, 'man would have no more than four years to live.'    These winged buzzballs provide us with many of the world's super-products: royal jelly, beeswax and honey to name but a few.  They are an under-appreciated species to most...but not to my boyfriend's Grandmother.

She explained to me that this strange, glistening magma came from New Zealand and had a 10+ antibacterial rating.   It was also infused with lemon oil which gave it a delicious depth of flavour.  Apparently Honey has been used through the ages for it's healing properties but it is Manuka, the King of Honey, that offers the most benefits.

According to the Telegraph: Most honeys contain a naturally occurring active agent, which is thought to support good health but is easily destroyed when exposed to heat and light. Manuka honey contains an extra, naturally occurring active ingredient, which makes it distinct from other honeys. This additional component is stable and doesn't lose its potency when exposed to heat, light or dilution. Its special quality is known as UMF and the higher the UMF, the more potent the honey and its powers (aficionados reckon that you need a UMF of 10 or higher for the honey to be properly effective). It has antiviral and antibacterial actions, which is a good excuse for scoffing the stuff neat at the first sign of a cold or sore throat.


The wonder-bush of Manuka (Leptospermum scoparium) is indigenous only to New Zealand and also produces tea-tree oil.  When researched it is clear that Manuka has been touted as having a spectrum of health benefits yet specifics are not often mentioned.   It's clearest recommendations are for 'general good health' and 'contributes to the normal function of the immune system,' which are quite broad claims.  It has also been tested in wound healing but has yet to show any definitive results.  


If you do buy Manuka Honey, you must ensure it has a UMF factor of 10+ or higher as this is the recommended and certified concentration.  More information can be read on the official website - http://www.umf.org.nz/


As I already use a lavender beeswax to massage my burn-scars (click here for post) I am happy to absorb more natural bee-products and reap any possible benefits they can offer me. My immune system has been somewhat deflated since 'BBQ-gate' so anything that can boost it will be consumed with gusto.


As Winnie the Pooh so rightfully points out...



"what I like best -- " and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called.”


Time to get that porridge out from the back of the cupboard then......

http://www.rowsehoney.co.uk/#2012/05/demystifying-manuka-your-questions-answered/?bee=queen

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/3787867.stm

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/wellbeing/5979247/The-benefits-of-Manuka-honey.html

http://www.umf.org.nz/ (Official Unique Manuka Factor)

Square One

This sums up my week...

It's four bars are a hurdle,

that I often face,

I leap them and leave that

desolate space,

I'm out a brief moment,

but it's game of life's fun,

to roll the dice and spit me

back on Square number One.

Image 
Square Prison

by Lord Jezzer

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lordjezzer/

Poem
Myself.

Empathy - a blessing and a curse.

Recently I have had an influx of comments from people reading my blog.  These have come through texts, inbox messages and face to face feedback.  It seems that I have amassed so much experience on this blog that even people who have not had an accident or a burn are finding something to relate to.  This is good.  This is the reason I started to blog.  One of the internet's most worthy powers is it's ability to connect people with those who have been there, done that and worn the compression vest.

Empathy basically means that you can recognise the feelings that someone else is experiencing.  It is different to sympathy.  Sympathy is concern for another's well-being but doesn't hinge on sharing experience or emotion.  Empathy is of extreme importance to society as we need to understand what others have been through and what they are feeling in order to identify with them.  Once we identify with someone and then a group of someones, we are much more likely to build a community centred around them.  If we can't identify with someone, we may shun them as an outcast.

People have begun to contact me because they recognise a number of things I have written about: medical procedures; having counselling or living with metal health blips; having to change the way they dress to accomodate a new body; being out of work and so on.  It's comforting to know that other people understand and also, inspirational to know that people have usually conquered the hurdle that harangued them.

Since having a burn, I have found that empathy can also be a bit of a curse.  Initially, it was ambulances.  Everytime I heard the familiar wail, my insides went rigid and I held my breath.  Although I have seen many ambulances in my life, each identical white van meant nothing to me and vanished from my thoughts as soon as it had left my vision.  Now though...as soon as that blue noise enters my thoughts a deep sadness washes over me, because I know.  I know that the person inside is most likely panicking and in pain; two of the most horrific human experiences.  I know that their life may be re-set for a time.  I know that they have a long and difficult recovery ahead of them. 

Time and time again this empathy has caused me to stop in my tracks, it hits me so strongly.  At first I also felt the same tsunami of panic that I had felt in that situation.  As time goes on, this lessens.  Still though, I look upon that vehicle with a sense of upset for those travelling inside.  I spoke to some other burn suriviors about this and it turns out, this is something that happens to a lot of people.  We could empathise with each other, over the the empathy of others.

Empathy also grabs me when I hear stories of other burn injuries or see programmes advertised such as, 'the girl with 90% burns,' (which I would never be able to watch.)  During the recent gas explosion in Manchester a man suffered 80% burns and I haven't been able to move him out of my mind since I heard it on the radio.  Although I can't understand his plight exactly, as my injuries were much less than his, I can still imagine how unwell he must be feeling and the terror he is going through.  I understand now what people mean when they say, 'my heart goes out to them.'

On the flip-side, having an accident brings you in to the path of many, many people who:

a) Don't feel empathy or
b) Have difficulty voicing their empathy.

I have repeatedly been subjected to thoughtless comments and selfish remarks.  Most of the time I don't say anything as I still find myself too shocked by the callousness to formulate a response.  I've had people tell me how terrible the accident was for them.  Others have asked me silly questions about my injuries when it is clear they aren't really interested and they don't understand the extent of burn aftermath.  I know most of what is said comes with the best intentions but the lack of empathy shines through and blinds me every time.

Luckily, these people are in the minority.  Mostly, I am touched every time I open my inbox and find another kind message or a word of encouragement and for those out there who have done this; thank you.  It helps another day pass.