* Written in the Stars *

As Tinie Tempah sings...some things are written in the stars. As a survivor of any trauma, one of the first questions that you ask is, 'why me?' Out of the people milling around on this Earth, why was I chosen to have this particular event befall me? There are several different ways to look at this but I choose to believe that this was my fate. An external factor has occurred; something which wasn't my choice.

I could blame this external factor if I wanted to and I could let it govern my life and my thoughts. Initially, I did. I thought to myself again and again, 'if only I wasn't standing there. If only I'd left to get a drink or talk to someone or get something, if only, if only, if only...' But these 'if onlys' are a waste. The accident was lined up to happen to me; a sequence of unfortunate events culminated in an explosion and there was simply nothing I could have done about it. If Issac Newton just got mad about the external factor that was the apple falling on his head, he would just be another man who had an apple fall on his head.


How we attribute blame for events can contribute to how we cope with things that happen to us. In Psychology, this is known as the 'Locus of Control' 'Internal' people believe that they control their life and 'external' people believe their environment, some higher power, or other people control their life.

It's funny because although I do believe my accident was caused by an external influence, I am not an 'external' person. I am an 'internal' person. I strongly believe that I can help myself and choose the way I react to external events. I choose to empower myself and make the most of every situation, even ones that are very difficult to make the most of!

It is well documented that people feel helpless when they feel powerless to change their situation. When people believe they have no control over what is happening to them they don't strive to better their situation. People who succumb to the feeling that external influences govern them are more vulnerable to depression as they choose to believe nothing can be changed.

The key word here is 'choose.' We do live in an unstable world where unpredictable things can happen to us. Yet we also live in a world where lots of things are within our control. The circle immediately around us is influenced by the way we act and the actions we take, for example: our health; children; work and home. It is important to channel your energies into the things you can influence instead of worrying about the unpredictable, extended world. (Unless you're the Prime Minister!)

I choose to believe that the external factors leading up to my accident were out of my control because I don't want to waste the next 2+ years imagining how it could have simply been a 'close-call.' But I don't believe it's rendered me helpless, in fact it has made me stronger and more creative, looking internally for ways to better the situation and to cope with it.

One of things which makes me feel better is looking up at the stars. They have been there for millions of years, overseeing the graceful arc of History. Cleopatra gazed at Venus, King Henry VIII at the Saucepan, Christopher Columbus at The Great Bear...people have made their successes and mistakes under these same stars. Long after we are all gone and our lives are the dust of history the stars will still be winking in the sky.

This thought might not work for everyone though....




See more 'The Theory of Attribution.'

If historical events were Facebook statuses. Amusing site. Click here.