When will I feel ready to go back to work???

It's that time of year, black (insert day of the week here) when the alarm is re-set, the train timetable consulted and the emails reluctantly opened. Back to work. I usually sulk for the first 10 minutes after waking up but once I'm on my way, I'm jubilant. I love my job; I love my career. I'm proud of the fact I chose it, I trained specifically for it and I have made myself good at it. This year though, I feel quite different. It's New Year, a new start and people have been asking me when I intend to go back to work. That question sends splinters of ice through my veins.

Before Christmas I was ready to talk about going back. December was 5 months since 'it' happened. January seemed so far away, there was so much going on in those days in-between. I was to move house, back to the parents' for a month and I had plans full of family visits during Christmas and New Year. Yet suddenly, I am here. Moved house. Preparing to move again start of February. All celebrated out. Absolutely and totally shattered.

I wanted to start running again this New Year but when I went for a brisk walk with my other half on Monday I lasted around 12 minutes. All of a sudden I could barely breathe and my legs felt like lead. It terrifies me that this is how unfit I have become. I might be out of the woods but everywhere I look there are still trees!

I know this is something that others worry about as I've read the thoughts of other burn survivors on the Katie Piper discussion forum, 'how and when do I get back into things?' Click here to read.

I think it's important to remember that there is no rush to get back to work. Yes, it's important to work. Mental health studies have shown that work is good for people, it gives them a sense of fulfillment, increases self-esteem and provides companionship. But it is not worth going back to work too early only to feel stressed, become unwell, knock your confidence or hinder your recovery. I really want to go back to work. In my mind I drive in the gates and everything goes back to normal. I forget this ever happened. In reality, work is a huge hurdle and will have to be handled gradually if I am to cope. It's another journey, one I'm not sure I'm yet ready to take.