Being at home, alone, can be depressing. If you would usually be at work, then you might find you have temporarily lost that sense of being productive. You are not socialising with anyone or exercising. You are probably, like me, very tired.
Depending on the stage of your recovery depends on what you can and should do. You shouldn't let anyone make you feel lazy if you need to rest or stay in bed all day. However, once you are at the stage that you can move around effectively and walk without support, you do need to be building up your life again.
Other people need to help you but you also need to help yourself. When I'm feeling useless and miserable I remind myself of this; if I don't help myself, nothing is going to change. The days will blur endlessly into one and I will lose sense of who I am.
I have come up with a plan to make my days feel effective and productive. It does vary and so will your plan but it gives me some control over the day-today happenings of my life. If I go out to an event (for example, my Mum's 50th) then I will have 3 days after it that I don't do much at all. I might not leave the sofa. This 'recovery' time is added into 'the plan.' I'm allowed to do it. It's not lazy, it's necessary and it's scheduled!
Having a routine really helps too. It helps you enjoy what you are doing instead of feeling you are being lazy or non-productive. An example would be watching a film. If I have planned it, I am not just lazing around watching TV. I am watching a film for a certain amount of time then I will switch activity. You don't get bored and glaze over. You can do a variety of things each day, look forward to them and enjoy them. It also seems to help my body expect what is coming next, making waking up and getting dressed easier and easier. Less of an effort!
Plan
1. Wake up at roughly the same time each day. For me, this has evened out about 9am.
2. I don't feel great when I wake up. Sometimes I feel downright rough! So I get my breakfast (usually toast or yogurt and cereal, not biscuits) and a cup of tea, grab my computer/a book and head back to bed. The key here is not to go back to sleep. If you get up and later find yourself tired, you can go and lie down. If you just keep turning over and going back to sleep there is a danger the day will vanish and you won't be able to sleep at night...so you'll be tired in the morning. Dangerous circle.
3. I get up NO LATER than 11am. This depends on the daily decision. If my show is good or I'm watching a couple of episodes then I don't rush myself...but I am aware that 11am is the time to get up.
4. I get ready. This can take 2 hours with the massaging and getting clean, the creams and the make-up. I only put the make-up on if I am going somewhere particular, if I'm going to the shops then I don't bother. It gives me spots! I do get dressed straight away and I try to wear something reasonably nice - not just tracksuit bottoms. It does make a big difference. I still choose comfortable clothes though, such as jeans and a jumper with a scarf or leggings and a jumper dress. Just don't dress like you are going to stay indoors and see no-one.
5. The Daily Decision
If I haven't scheduled in rest time, then I have to think about 'The Daily Decision.' I have created this to give my day purpose. It's normally in the afternoon when I'm at my best and I plan my week ahead on Sunday. It could be something fun or something that has to be done. Examples from this week and last week are:
*Spent 1 hour (give it a time limit initially so you don't overdo it) in the Supermarket getting food.
*Took myself to see 'The Lion King' in 3D at the cinema. (10 minute walk each way)
*Walked to the town to take my mail to the Post Office. (30 mins round trip - tiring!)
*Walked to Costa and had a coffee and read a magazine. (10 minute walk each way)
*Hoovered 3 of the rooms in the flat. (Again, overall time limit or prioritize rooms so you don't overdo it.)
Other things I do...walk to the shop and choose what shops I want to go to so I don't get too tired to get back, meet someone for lunch, clean the bathroom, go to the circus (!) invite someone over, go for a drive somewhere.
Next week I am considering going to the gym one day, for a specified time limit. Once my voice has returned fully!
6. Once you have completed your Daily Decision, whatever it may be, you've had a successful day! You might need to rest after it, you might need to lay down. You've done it though, you've been out, seen the world still at work, perhaps you spoke to someone (even ordering coffee counts!) or perhaps you completed a household chore that needed doing. Anyway, something got DONE. That's what counts! It makes a big difference to be able to answer the question, 'what did you do today?'
7. After you have spent a few weeks on the Daily Decision plan, you might feel ready to start splitting your day into chunks. Now I'm not sleeping so much, I have more time. In the morning I spend time until 11am catching up on TV shows my man hates, or perhaps reading. After that, I write a list of the things I would like to do or that need to get done today. I will usually complete at least two of them. Ideally three but it's not the end of the world if I can't make myself do more. This helps me keep on top of things like finances and other personal admin that doesn't stop just because you don't feel like it. I will usually do these after I have completed my Daily Decision.
The list isn't normally things that take physical effort but things that I have to push myself mentally to do. They are boring or I dislike doing them. I would dislike them normally but after an accident you do lose lots of your mojo. It makes it difficult to be productive. The less you do though; the less you want to do.
A couple of weeks ago the Daily Decision was enough for me. I'd come home and sleep. Now though, I am trying to get my stamina up and the list is a gentle way to help it improve!
After my Daily Decision is complete, I get a cup of tea, plonk myself on the sofa, a bit tired out and look at the list. If I was very tired, I'd turn on the TV and lay down, like I did after the Circus. Listen to your body! But say I feel O.K, just a normal (!) level of tiredness. I want to read a book and really enjoy it without feeling lazy or I want to watch 'Come Dine with Me.' So I look at my list and choose a couple of things to get done. for example: ring the tax office and order my contact lenses.
Today I was just too tired to go out. I went to the cinema yesterday and to the supermarket on Monday, so I just turned to my list. Today I called the dentist and booked my spa retreat. (It doesn't have to be all bad things, just things to do!) I put on some washing (so necessary!) and am writing this blog entry. After I have crossed these things off my list I will do absolutely nothing else.
Even without going out, I have got things done.
If you start with this simple plan:
1) Wake up and have breakfast.
2) Get up. (Different from waking up.)
3) Choose your Daily Decision (if you haven't already!) or look at your list. Choose to do one or the other. Only both if you're feeling up to it!
4) Get dressed.
5) Complete your Daily Decision or your list items.
6) Rest and do whatever you like!
You will find you can stay on top of things and break your day up. You won't need to plan in a lot as you will probably find that things take you much longer to complete as you are a bit out of tune with your body. Initially it is difficult to find activities...so I've suggested some below!
Don't overdo it, do a little at a time and take it from there. At the moment I am doing an Daily Decision that requires leaving the flat about three times a week. This just means I don't get cabin fever or get a bit weird sitting in with my own company day in, day out. The rest of the time it's things I can do from the sofa or small housework tasks.
Tomorrow I am driving to pick up my contact lenses, buying stamps and starting a story I've wanted to write for some time. These are my only tasks on the list but it gives me an aim to my day!
Don't just sit in watching Jeremy Kyle (unless you really love it...) Humans are sociable creatures who need purpose. Try to find things that you can do. If you are unable to walk unaided you might need to be selective about what you do, perhaps try splitting your time into manageable chunks in the day and switching activities every hour or two hours to stop yourself getting bored. Talk to your neighbours- maybe one nearby might pop over for coffee once a week? If you feel self-conscious because you can't cover your injuries (I'm lucky I can) perhaps take someone with you to begin with. The cinema in the day is a good activity as it is very quiet and dark, so you might prefer it.
Activities
If you want to stay in:
- Make yourself a really nice nutritious lunch
- Invite someone round
- Watch a film
- Choose a genre of books or author you have always wanted to read and start getting through them!
- Write a diary
- Write a blog (link mine to it!)
- Make a scrapbook
- Take up painting/sewing/knitting...
- Do some exercise indoors e.g. stretching
- Organise something (photos, wardrobe, herb shelf, alcohol cabinet, magazine collection, DVDs....)
- Phone someone up
- Start researching something you've always been interested in
- Internet shopping
- Forums
- A household chore (necessary and tiresome)
- Drawing
- Practise with your make-up
- Have a look in your wardrobe and choose what is good to wear these days (throw out or pack away things not suitable at the moment, you don't want to have to see them every day)
Going out, choose your times wisely so it is quieter for you:
- A walk!
- Cinema
- Garden centre (often do nice cream teas and are quiet and relaxing places)
- Massage on an area that is ok; for me reflexology is a good idea
- Gym (careful with this, don't do so much you can't get home)
- Get a coffee
- Buy a magazine or a book and go home to read it
- Meet someone for lunch
- Go to your local church cafe or service (even if you're not religious they are usually very welcoming and good company)
- Hairdressers (often will come to your house too)
- Supermarket (necessary and tiresome)
- Go to a charity shop and buy some books (usually small and friendly places)
- Local museum (likely to be quiet and reasonably empty unless you live in a Capital City)
Let me know in the comments box if you have any suggestions of things you like to do that might be added, especially things that don't cost a lot of money or are free.
No comments:
Post a Comment