Tact - not everyone has it!

TACT
n.

1. Acute sensitivity to what is proper and appropriate in dealing with others, including the ability to speak or act without offending.



It's a pretty important trait, tact.

If you have something a bit different about you, it's likely that people are going to say something Which is absolutely fine. What is not fine is the WAY some people chose to say it.

3 of my most cringe-worthy situations so far.

Supermarket Shocker

As a human, I have to eat. Sometimes you have to go out to get food. And people might see you. So I went to the supermarket, without my make-up on! Shock horror! Now, lets get this straight, my face is red in places but it's not grotesque. Yet the checkout lady gave me a good looking over and then said,

'what's that on your face?'

Me: 'errrrr....'

Her: 'Is it eczema? I've got eczema on my arm.'

Me: 'No, I had an accident.'

Her: 'What type of accident?'

Mum looks horrified and starts packing aggressively and shooting the checkout lady evil glares.

Me: 'Er, a burn accident.'

Her: 'Oh, I burnt myself the other day on the oven. It really hurt me. (Shows me a minisule burn on her arm.) I read in my magazine about proper burns and the things they have to do. Like when they clean them...'

Mum leans in and says borderline aggressively...'Will you please stop talking?'

Does she? No but she does veer slightly off the subject to a safer one.

Mum says, 'what is wrong with her?'

Me: 'She's just really thick. I feel sorry for her.'

Dustbin Man Div

For those out-of-the-UK readers, we recently had an indian summer. Temperatures reached over 35 degrees. (It does happen!) I ventured out very rarely because the heat played havoc with my injuries. One day, sun-creamed and parasoled up, I headed to the corner shop.

As I passed the Dustbin collectors, I could see they were going to say something. They were all men and they were all looking at me. Yes, I had a parasol but actually, it was very, very hot! So I didn't think it looked particularly out of place.

As I walked past him, the man said with a sneer over his wheelie-bin, 'too hot for you is it?' He didn't say it in a nice way, more like 'she's such a diva' way. I'm a good judge of intent.

Me: 'No, I've been in a chemical explosion actually.'

His face! To give him credit, he looked guilty and then was very nice.

Him: 'Can't you be in the sun then?'

Me: 'Nope.'

Him: 'Never?!'

Me: 'About 2 years.'

Him: 'At least it's only 2 years....I guess that's something.....'

Yes. Something really annoying!!!

Restaurant Man

Although this was fleeting, it made me laugh. The man in my life (best man ever, has been amazing throughout this ordeal) took me out to one of my favourite restaurants for dinner. It was lovely, the first time I have felt normal, mainly because of my make-up. It was the first meal I've really enjoyed because I was now off the painkillers that made food taste bland.

(In case you're interested: scallops, rare steak and salted caramel ice-cream.)

The man diagonally opposite me looked at my forearm, the only exposed part of me. It is fairly red but again, not grotesque. People notice it, I know this. I see them notice it and that is fine. They might even ask about it, fine. BUT there is no need to stare. You might glance twice. After that, you're staring. People don't like to be stared at!

So, after he had stared six times (I counted) for more than 5 seconds at a time, I decided to stop him. I stared at him back and waited for him to catch my eye by accident. He did and I didn't break my gaze. I stared unblinkingly; my scary teacher face. He went slightly red and turned his gaze back to his party of five, whom he should have been paying attention to in the first place.

MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Don't let people make you feel uncomfortable. If they want to ask you questions and they do it nicely, be generous. Educate them. But if they stare at you or treat you without tact, don't stand for it.

Use shock factor, 'I've been in a chemical explosion.'
Use assertiveness, 'Can you please stop talking now.'

Or stare back, like a hungry snake.